i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
