yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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