I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He better not be in your backpack
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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