Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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