someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize