white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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