I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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