I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
