is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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