Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
