I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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