Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
