True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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