Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
