Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
