He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
