So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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