so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
