at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
