You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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