Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
