my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
