I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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