How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
