Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
