dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
