Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They have beer where we have blood.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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