I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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