there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
