you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
