it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
