good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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