I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
