Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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