Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
