I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
