I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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