508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
