wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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