What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
