you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
