we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
