Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
