and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
