Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
