On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
