I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
