I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
