3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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