Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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