so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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