The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
