..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
