Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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