He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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