I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
