I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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