Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
