yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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