Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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