"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize