i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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