Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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