He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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