Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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