Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
