eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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